Siren no. 10

“I made the remarkably good decision to prioritize my own needs and mental health, but I still feel badly about it.”

MIRAH

Grants & Contracts Analyst | Writer
Anxiety, OCD

I've had anxiety my whole life and OCD-type obsessive thinking that emerges at more stressful moments. I was clinically depressed during my second year of graduate school. The program was a poor fit for me and I really didn't want to finish it - but a lot of family pressure and external pressure convinced me to "stick it out.”

Even now, I feel a lot of shame and sadness about not being able to "make it" in the entertainment industry. It can be a really toxic environment, and I knew it was decidedly not a good fit for me, and yet I felt compelled to finish my program and degree anyway. I was just in Los Angeles in October 2021 and I still felt bad about knowing it wasn't the right place for me and making a conscious choice to leave eight years ago - isn't that f***ed up? I made the remarkably good decision to prioritize my own needs and mental health, but I still feel badly about it.